The Joy and Thrill of Girl-Cock
Report by Dan Kapelovitz
"Pump it, Charles, pump it," Jenny says to her husband as he squeezes a bulb
that draws air out of the plastic tube connected to her clitoris. Because nature
abhors a vacuum, blood rushes to Jenny's love bud, making the already-oversized
joy button elongate and take on the shape of the pneumatic tube.
After ten minutes of rigorous pumping, Jenny's rosebud resembles a flat, three-inch
uncircumcised prick. The clitoral hood has become foreskinlike. The only phallic
element missing from Jenny's clitoric pud is a urethra.
"Suck it hard, Charlie," Jenny screams.
Charles wraps his lips around his wife's she-cock and performs
fellatio on her while finger-banging her wet pussy.
"Jack me off," Jenny moans. Charles works her monster clitty between his thumb and forefinger as he eats her cunt. With his free hand, Charles wrangles with his own stiff meat. In less than
a minute, the couple have a simultaneous orgasm and, soon after, Jenny's jewel
shrinks back to its pre-pumped size.
Large clits fall into three major—and sometimes overlapping—categories: genetic,
pumped and steroid-induced. Rhonda, an attractive, athletic brunette with short
hair who resides just outside of Philadelphia, markets herself on the Web
(rhondasplaypen.com) as a naturally big-clitted female. Her nub juts from its
hood, looking something like the nose of W. C. Fields.
The 33-year-old says that the only reason her sex button was not chopped off at
birth (a common procedure in her time that continues less frequently today) was
because her parents were extremely religious, and they didn't believe in
altering her God-given vagina.
Her Bible-thumping folks probably wish they'd reconsidered. "Girls born
naturally with huge clits have a high sex drive," claims Rhonda, who believes
her titanic joy knob may be due to receiving some of her identical twin's
testosterone while in the womb. "I was diagnosed very young as a nymphomaniac."
Rhonda boasts that her protruding clitoris gives her the sexual advantages of
both men and women. Like a guy, Rhonda can come extremely quickly, and she also
has the female capacity for multiple orgasms. "I can have 20 to 25 orgasms in a
couple hours. We [large-clitted women] sit on a cock and come by grinding our
clits." There are, however, some drawbacks to possessing a larger-than-average
clitoris. "You have to learn to keep your sexual urges in control," says Rhonda.
"I masturbate at least four or five times a day. We have to be careful [with]
the clothing we wear, because it rubs against us, and we actually get off. I
have a clit ring. I had to get a small one because the ball would rub against my
clit, and it wasn't cool walking down the road with juices running down my
Linda Might is another big-clitted Web star who has cashed in on her gargantuan
thrill bubble. Might says her site (lindamight.com) has more than 1,000 members
who each pay $9.95 per month. The Internet entrepreneur, whose clit grows up to
three inches in length when aroused, claims she could make even more money off
her love knob. "I've had offers, from trips around the world to a man who
offered me $50,000 to spend one evening with him. I just write back and say,
'I'm an exhibitionist; I'm not a hooker.'"
The most prevalent theory about colossal clit fiends is that they may be, at the
very least, bicurious. "It's [considered] okay for girls to have bisexual
tendencies; it's not okay for men," explains Rhonda. "The bigger clit, when it's
really huge, can resemble a small penis. Guys can actually suck on it. It
fulfills their sexual fantasy, yet they're not actually being with a guy."
Might believes that a man who loves big clits isn't necessarily queer. "Guys
just like to suck on things," says the monster-nubbed Web mistress, although she
admits that her big-clit-loving husband, George, has bisexual tendencies. "With
a smaller clit, there is only so many tongue moves you can apply," claims
George, "but with a 'clit boner,' the variety is vastly multiplied. Imagine
licking and sucking a clit that you can feel expand and harden in your mouth."
J. G., a king-size-clit freak for 25 years, believes that, far from being
closeted homo- or bisexuals, real men eat huge-clitted quiche. "Men who deride
big clitters are a bit insecure about their own masculinity," says the
50-year-old New York City native. "Men who are turned on by [a large clit]
realize that it is the symbol of female libido—a strong and sexually potent
woman who wants to get it on."
Even so, Jerome, a large-clit fanatic and unemployed playwright in Seattle,
Washington, offers these telling words: "It would be cool if a girl had a big
enough clit where she could stick it in your ass." According to Karlyn Lotney
a/k/a Fairy Butch, author of The Ultimate Guide to Strap-On Sex, a properly
endowed gal could make Jerome's wish come true with the use of a vacuum-action
clit pump. Although difficult, a stretched-out love bud can achieve penetration.
One technique involves tying off the engorged clit at the base with a bolo-type
cock ring. Another method entails keeping the enlarged clit in the pump and
placing the tube into a hollowed-out, penis-extender dildo. "The dildo feels
kind of like an extension of the clitoral tissue," says Lotney.
Clit pumpers should take safety precautions. "Pumping up too fast can cause
abrasions and microtears in the clitoral hood and the labial tissues," warns
Lotney. "You want pain to be your guide." Lotney also advises that drinking and
pumping don't mix.
While there have been no scientific studies on pumped fuck buttons, strong
anecdotal evidence suggests that pumping can increase clit size, even if only
gradually. "Any permanent increase in size is pretty subtle, but the temporary
increase can be quite dramatic," says Lotney, who knows of some pumped clits
that have grown up to 4-1/2 inches. Unfortunately for those who like to suck
king-size sex bumps, clit mass will decrease after the pump is removed.
Besides making the clits bigger, pumping itself can provide women with a
pleasurable tactile experience. Lisa Hughes, known to her live-cam fans as
Superclit, tries to pump her two-inch clit at least twice a day. "The first time
I put it on and started the pump going, it felt like someone was sucking on it
wildly," says the half-Chinese, half-English Toronto resident. "I sometimes wear
it when I go to the grocery store. I like the feeling of appearing like a nice
conservative woman on the outside and, meanwhile, my clitty is being pumped to
the max in a vacuum tube."
While sex-toy companies have created a variety of clit pumps, women have turned
other devices—including pore cleansers, altered syringes and snakebite kits—into
female-genital pumps. There is even an FDA-approved model that costs
approximately $400, requires a doctor's prescription and allegedly cures "female
arousal disorder" by drawing blood into small and atrophied clits.
"The pump is almost like exercising a muscle," says Mary Kerr, a Beverly Hills,
California, gynecologist. "It will go back to its normal size, but with
steroids, the clitoral growth won't go away." For this reason, many women who
inject or digest synthetic male hormones grow large clits—intentionally and
Kim, a dark-skinned, athletic, gigantic-clitted Northern California girl, is the
star of a series of amateur porn tapes that cover a ten-year period of her life.
While she always possessed a larger-than-average clitoris, Kim's videos indicate
that, as she's become more involved in bodybuilding, her clit has grown along
with her biceps, and her once-soft breasts have transformed into rock-hard
she-pecs. Kim claims she never used steroids (although she admits to taking
"cutting agents"), but agrees that physique-enhancing drugs can increase clit
Kim has a non-drug-related explanation for her clit enlargement: "I had a
boyfriend who really liked a bigger clit, and he told me to hang weights from
it. I would attach a three-pound dumbbell to my clit, then I would squat up so
the weight would pull [the clit] down."
Denise Masino, the muscle-bound, large-clitted editor of Muscle Elegance, a
Florida-based magazine devoted to showcasing nude female bodybuilders, says she
was born with a bulbous clit, but that many people suspect her size is due to
substance use. Masino maintains that cunnilingus can facilitate clit growth:
"It's the same concept as the pump, only it's better because it's not a plastic
tube you're being sucked into."
Because so many weight-lifting women have grown cunt-cocks, J. G. says the
easiest way to find a lady with a huge, suckable clit is to visit Web sites that
feature female-bodybuilder escorts. "Some will let you suck their woman meat for
an extra charge," says the big-nubbin aficionado. "Actually, lots will, but be
careful; some won't."
Rhonda says she can tell whether a plus-size love button is natural or
steroid-induced. "A girl with a natural clit—it's like a guy; it goes back
inside. Whereas a girl who's on steroids, her clit hangs out above the skin. I
guess I should be happy that I was born a freak."
(This article first appeared in the January 2003 issue of Hustler Magazine)
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